It’s not every day that the world is graced with such a master of logic, such a genius of problem solving, as Swailand’s King Mswati III.

Now, having thirteen wives, clearly this king of kings must know a little something about the ladies, and it turns out that he knows so much in fact, that he’s solved his country’s problem of rampant rape and sex abuse.

How did he do it? Did he increase penalties for rape convictions? Did he have a Kisses for Glocks program, arming all the young ladies on the street? Did he elevate the female role in Swailand’s society to that equal to a man’s? No, no, and definitely not.

King Mswati III made wearing skirts, hiphuggers, and tank and crop tops illegal. Any woman found wearing any of those items (mini-skirts are mentioned, but at PD we feel that a nice pencil skirt can also send the animal hearts of those men racing) will be arrested on the spot. Rape magnets!

Damn straight! It’s not the rapist that wants to do the raping. He or they simply can’t help it if the woman is going to pair a crop-top with a miniskirt.

Of course, an outsider might inquire about the traditional Swailand idlamu dress that well, leaves nothing to the imagination.

Is that legal? Yes, King Mswati doesn’t object to his female subjects wearing the idlamu, as no one has ever reported a rape occurring from one of those. Makes sense.

Think that Swailand’s leaders couldn’t be any more bright and progressive? Well, women will also be fined if they pick up items in a provocative manner.

As explained by a member of King Mswati’s staff, “For females it is polite that when you have dropped something, squat with your upper body still upright and pick up the item rather than bending half your body head first to pick up the item.”

Wow, G-E-N-I-U-S just about sums it up.