Fresh off the North Korean Presses: PD’s boyfriend and dictator bad boy, Kim Jong-un has just gotten married!

That bastard!

North Korean state-sponsored television announced hours ago, that Kim Jong-un married Ri Sol Ju. Who is she, Un? Who is she?

Kim Jong-un, how could you? Just like a ruthless dictator, making you fall in love with him, then he humiliates you by turning your relationship into a bad Lifetime movie.Look all you want, but PD won't be takin' you back.

Well fine, Kim Jong-un. We didn’t really love you all that much anyway. In fact, you’ll be needing all of that comfort food you just allowed into your country, because when you see how smokin’ hott we are when we go all Gangnam Style, you’ll be feelin’ real sorry.

Real sorry.