Earlier this month, Chicago royalty gathered together with all of their horses, and men, in order to join together Laura Jarrett and Tony Balkisson (pronounced BALL-KISS-ON) in unholy matrimony at Hyde Park. Mother of the bride, Iranian born Valerie Jarrett, known as Obama’s rock, and fairy god-mother, put her progressive inroads on hold, in order to give her dear daughter the best day possible.

Laura and Tony met while attending community college Harvard Law School. Now they both practice at rival Chicago law firms, Balkisson at Sidley Austin, and Jarrett at Mayer Brown. (PD smells a sitcom!)Davos Diva, Valerie Jarret.

The couple is currently registered at Williams-Sonoma. Hey, even the children of communists need nice dinner plates.

A laundered guest list including the Minow Family, the Levins, Roxanne Ward, the Obama Clan, the Jordans, and Attorney General Eric Holder, and his wife Sharon Marlone, made for a well-rounded crowd. As you can imagine, with such a grand guest list, precautions had to be taken, and Valerie Jarrett spared no cop expense. Jarrett pulled no less than 100+ of Chicago’s finest off the streets, to guard her baby girls’ nuptials.

In other Chicago-related news, 46 people were shot the weekend of the wedding.