Between redecorating the Middle East (embracing the classical ruin look with the occasional splash of blood and body parts) and their Malaysian clothing line, you’d think that the ramble rousers of Daash wouldn’t have the time to expand to the travel industry, but as we learned back in February these boys can multitask.
Sure, Daash loves a good beach getaway as much as the next sunscreen zealot (Christians should double check they have their orange one piece), but even as they are demolishing Nimrod’s tomb the rising Caliphate can still appreciate a wondrous feat of architectural engineering or two.
Armed with a We_Are_Coming_Rome hashtag, Daash decided that this summer the place to be is fair Italia.
Naturally, it would be better for the technocrats of the country (after all they are still trying to hammer out a way to start Round 9 of tax evasion charges against Dolce & Gabbana) if Daash decided to come with something other than their promised, “Slaughter,” but tourist Euros are tourist Euros.
Of course, so far any threats of carnage don’t seem to be too awful, as the big wigs of Daash threatened to throw off only one homosexual from a leaning tower of pizza, which frankly sounds like this year’s delicious take on the ice bucket challenge.
All in all, in the lead up to the tourist high season, Italy’s technocrats have decided to add an extra 4,800 soldiers to help police the lines at the Colosseum and Pisa’s Leaning Tower…of Pisa, not pizza.
With all of those extra bodies, it must be secure…So get packing!