The Boardwalk.

Seaside Heights.

Any Statist will tell you that the role of government is to make roads, redistribute wealth, and ensure that you don’t get screwed on the ring-toss.

No, that’s not a euphemism.

New Jersey’s Seaside Heights is under investigation by the Legalized Games of Chance Control Commission.

Boardwalk Policing Brilliance

Big Government wants to make sure you are a Boardwalk Winner.

Big Government wants to make sure you are a winner.

The LGCCC, which does not sound like a frivolous waste of taxpayer funds, supposedly found that some of the prizes in the crane machines on the boardwalk were a tad too heavy, or too tightly packed for what they’ve deemed reasonable based on the game playing abilities of the average citizen.

So the next time you score a giant banana on the Jersey Shore Boardwalk, take a moment to thank the hard work and brilliance of Big Government.