For once, the talking of impending doom, bleak nothingness, doom, bleak nothingness, followed by more doom which has always pervaded the Russian airwaves long since before Stalin, has been asked to be toned down by order of the Lower Parliament MPs.
The heads of the Russian Federal television channels received an accord earlier this week, asking them to hold back on the “pseudoscientific information about the end of the world,” at least for the foreseeable future.
Of course that sentiment seems a little late for the Russian public, that are out in droves scooping up their “End of the World Kits” with gusto comparable to the great Detroit Sneaker Riots of 2009. Kits include canned meat, rope, matches, soap, and Grade A Vodka (we’re sure for sterilization purposes).
Kersone, candles, and salt are also going at a record rate, with those that dilly-dallied and didn’t make it to the stores fast enough, considering just looting their neighbors as Nibiru strikes. Of course those actions are supported by the universal law of All for One and Everything for Me.
Cuddle bear, Prime Minister Dimtry Medvedev tried to reassure and shore up any Mayan induced fears the populace had last Friday, in a televised speech:
“I don’t believe in the end of the world. At least, not this year.”
Mr. Prime Minister, we whole heartedly agree with that caveat.