Heading up to Chicago in the near future? Be sure to leave your ever-deappreciating dollars at home, because the best currency in the Windy City now seems to be hair extensions.

“Human hair is the real shit. Everybody want it. My girl, Beyoncé, be having them. Oprah done did it too. Everybody wanna be doing like that,” a Chicagoan informed us over the weekend. “Everybody.”

Human hair extensions will buy you more than a steak dinner for two in Rahm Emanuel’s stomping ground. Unfortunately, this type of demand hasn’t exactly spelled prosperity for Chicago Saloons, as profits have evaporated through mass thefts and a need for increased security.Extension ATMs.

A saloon owner in Chicago’s Hair District, whom wanted to be kept anonymous for fear of retaliation and having her shop targeted, told PD just how bad it is. “The thieves know exactly what they are doing. They take the top of the line stuff, then hock it from their trunks or on the black market. $230,000 gone here, and $170,000 gone there. You can’t ensure that. We’re really struggling.”

Chicago is no stranger to street danger, with more murders occurring there last month, than in Kabul, so PD recommends you grow your hair long, and bring along extra extensions in case of an emergency.