Still depressed by the news that over half of your fellow countrymen are morons, America? Well, this weekend how about partaking in a little smart retail therapy?

A full 6 hours after the polls were read (of course not the one in Florida—who cares about that one?), Obama got that retro red phone and dialed the UN to say, “You know that small arms treaty I told you I’d sign when things got a little more flexible? Well, I’m full Gumby-style now.”

Check out PD’s suggestions on kitting out and getting your collection grandfathered while you still can.

First no collection is complete without a Makarov, gem of the KGB. Durable, reliable and cheap, we recommend this gun for first time buyers.

Makarov, the orginial Russian Lady.

If you dig a handgun with a little more heft, the Taurus Judge is the way to go. This gun is known as the Self-Defense Mistress, and doesn’t pack a serious ricochet shot, so you won’t have to worry about the possibility of shooting your eye out.

The Taurus Judge.

A PD favorite is the Golden Desert Eagle. Hey, we told you black and gold were bang on trend all the way back in September. Besides wasn’t it Anna Dello Russo that said gold suites to excess?

The Golden Desert Eagle is at the top of our XMAS wishlist.

No collection is complete without a Remington 870. (Think Reba in Tremors.) These things pack a punch, and with a few million in circulation you can always find spare parts.

The Remington 870.

Next, if you’ve got proper or improper connections we recommend picking up the AAC Honey Badger. It just don’t give a shit. An integrated silencer that makes the purr of a kitten seem like a death roar, these babies aren’t easy to get a hold of. For a demonstration of what the AAC Honey Badger can do check out PD’s favorite shirtless Russian Vladimir Putin FPSRussia.

The AAC Honey Badger...Proof that love at first sight does exist.

Happy browsing!