Even Maduro’s wife, Cilia Flores flinched.

Even Maduro’s wife, Cilia Flores flinched.

Last month, PD touched on President Nicolás Maduro’s assassination talk, and it turns out that over the weekend Venezuela’s Papa Noel decided to turn his years of paranoia into an assassination attempt.

On Saturday, according to Maduro, while speaking at a military parade (hey, what country experiencing massive inflation doesn’t like a parade?), two DJI M600 drones ladened with C4 flew toward him.

Whether warned previously by a little birdie, or just lucky, neither drone got even remotely close to El Presidente.

For his part, Maduro cited his, “Full confidence in the people and the Armed Forces and the God who protects me,” as responsible for his drone dodging at the 81st Anniversary of the National Guard.

Speaking of the parading National Guard, footage shows them breaking their formations to flee at the time of the attack. However, that is something Communication Minister Jorge Rodríguez vehemently denies, as he continues to praise their actions claiming that, “The formation of the National Guard troops stayed in place.”

The Classic Whodunit

Focusing on the attack itself, while we here at PD might sound skeptical, Maduro was quick to appear on television that evening with his 100% true and vetted culprit list.

Apparently, one of the drones collided with this apartment building, causing a small fire.

Apparently, one of the drones collided with this apartment building, causing a small fire.

Shockingly, for once Maduro did not think it was Uncle Joe in the library. “All the investigations point to Bogotá.”

With Bogota in mind, by Sunday, six people had already been charged with, “Terrorism and assassination.”

Of course, the United States did not receive a full pass on this one, with Maduro crafting a Colombia-Miami conspiracy calling on the Trump Administration to help him hold terrorist groups accountable.

Side note: Did anyone finish The New York Times crossword yesterday?