Somehow we know it will taste heavy on the castoreum.Well, it’s now Day 2 of the Trump nomination and our staff still hasn’t managed to come up with a positive spin other than all of the weight we’ll lose in the camps. So, for the sake of our nascent migraine, let’s cover a little fluff.

Vanilla, the vanillic acid (used to lower inflammation) and antioxidant beauty miracle of 2012, that had Chanel and cooking queens adding vanilla extract to everything, has jumped by over 150% in price since January, due to a rough harvest in Madagascar (yes, Madagascar has more to offer than zebus and talking lemurs).

Old school ice creamers, bakers, and perfumers will be the hardest hit, while others will make the switch to synthetic vanilla flavorings, composed of a fun mix of coal tar, wood and castoreum, the yellow secretion from the castor sacs of beavers.Beaver balls---America’s current favorite dessert additive, to the LGBTQRSUV lobby..

You know, maybe we’ll just go ahead skip ice cream this year.

Just sayin’.