Oh yeah, it’s totally reasonable to beat someone to death over these babies.Detroit news outlets are reporting an “incident” that took place earlier this month, involving a 16 year old being beaten almost to death over his Nikes.

Yes, his Nikes. Some people just can’t wait for Black Friday.

Apparently the new Nike Air Force kicks his parents had gotten him were simply too cool for the other kids at his school.

A student of Allen Academy, the “incident” ironically happened near Joy Road, and reports vary between one and twelve students doing the jumping.Homeschooling, anyone?

Again the “incident” went on for about five minutes, and the 16 year old sustained a skull fracture, bleeding in the brain, and had a seizure. He was last reported in critical condition.

Rest assured though, students at Allen Academy will be reminded of the “zero tolerance” policies towards violence practiced in the school district.