One word to describe them all.The PD staff has noticed a startling pattern in the last few weeks. It seems politicians across the United States are all campaigning their little hearts out to win Douche of the Year.

There has been a fair amount of debate about whether or not their more attention whore sycophantic “grass route” appeals should even be acknowledge. First, it promotes ulcers, and second isn’t that what they want? Third, it’s like writing about the Royal Family or Anthony Weiner, no one on the staff wants to do it.

Finally, if we do cover the political race to Douche of the Year, where do we stop? Where can we draw the line?Mob diplomacy.

So, just for this Monday, we’ve decided to mention only a few of the ulcer-inducing Douche moments from the last two weeks and then we’ll try to leave it at that, because we’re already on the secret pre-waiting list of the VA Obamacare so we really shouldn’t push it.

While we are fresh, let’s start with Cambodia Kerry on Israel, “A two-state solution will be clearly underscored as the only real alternative, because a unitary state winds up either being an apartheid state with second-class citizens – or it ends up being a state that destroys the capacity of Israel to be a Jewish state.”

Apartheid? Apartheid? Someone needs to get John Kerry a dictionary app on his phone, because clearly he’s more than a little John McCain confused. For someone who supposedly cried out across the chasm, “Am Yisrael Chai!” he does not seem to have a handle on what daily life is like in the region.

Do you know where Palestinians are treated really badly? Everywhere else in the Middle East.

Now for those carrying multiple camelbaks of water for the parasite class.

Clift, clearly off to a track meet.Eleanor Clift, real journalist: “I would like to point out that Ambassador Stevens was not ‘murdered’—he died of smoke inhalation in a safe room in that CIA installation.” Wow, so Chris Stevens wasn’t sodomized he was just having a good time with 25 or so new friends?

Think that’s bad? Wait for it… “It was an opportunistic terroristic attack that grew out of that video.”Somebody give that douche a prize!

Then there’s the Anthony Weiner-in-training Brett Hulsey, that’s running for Supreme High Wizard of Douchiness Governor of Wisconsin, who instead of making good on his tweet to bring KKK hoods to pass out to the racy race racists at the Republican Convention, decided to take a page from Nazi Paul Dutton and DIY-ed himself a Confederate costume.

When it was pointed out to him that it was actually the Democratic Party that was so fond of Jim Crow laws (note the word laws), the best he could finally come up with hours later was, “A minority in the GOP is like a chicken at Colonel Sanders’ house. They may feed you and let you crow a bit, but it does not end well.”

Stupidity on that level is painful, but do you think you can handle some more, PDers? Okay, let’s go directly to Twitter, where now apparently foreign policy is crafted in 140 characters and a hashtag.

Hashtags to the rescue!

Really? Like how you sat down and applauded stood up to Boko Haram when you were Secretary of State?

PDers, we will leave you with this:

Sad face.-MO

Have a great week!