No, February is complete without Vladentine’s.

No February is complete without Vladentine’s.

Drones really took off on the catwalks of Milan Fashion Week, but what were the other highlights of February 2018?

Well, for starters, our staff felt obliged to make the case that punching Nazis is done in poor taste on par with stealing flowers from cemeteries, while the rest of the world got fitted for brass knuckles and rallied to decapitate Bollywood.

Fresh off a camel’s dosage of Botox and celebrating a Trump Vladentine’s by visiting Stumpy’s Hatchet House, we readied our best pannier to read some midnight KGB poetry with Vladimir Putin.

Top dressers from February’s slew of Fashion Weeks.

Top dressers from February’s slew of Fashion Weeks.

Speaking of reading, we felt so French this month with our Book Club pick The Essence of Style we almost ended up getting a guillotine haircut.

What else?

Germany defined breakfast, well American taxpayers invested in New Dehli’s female vloggers.

Calories were capped in the UK, and suicide pacts were declared illegal, though the two were not necessarily related.

All in all, with the media’s march on the Second Amendment, February boiled down to the picture below:

The State’s bungling of Florida in February, just reiterates why self-protection is so important.

The State’s bungling of Florida in February, just reiterates why self-protection is so important.

Ready for next month?