How do you misplace your chastity belt key? As the week is almost up, our staff here at PD wanted to take a second and point out a simple truth, just as we’ve done in the past with requests not to urinate in the city’s drinking water or on fruit at the grocery store.

For today, here’s what we have: If you use a chastity belt, for Pete’s sake make a copy of the key first.

Hey, as libertarians we do not care what you do in your bedroom (so long as those in that bedroom are willing participants), and with the likes of Anthony Weiner and Bitch Boy we all know that even/especially politicians have their own kink, but at least respect yourself enough to be smart about it.

An Italian woman placed a call to the Padua Fire Department last week, because she lost the key to her chastity belt.Sure, perhaps your significant other took the key with them when they left on that business trip to Germany, but that doesn’t mean you don’t fish out your own personal spare.


Essentially, Italy’s taxpayers had to pay to have her chastity lock picked.

Now, if you are going to be locking yourself up with anything, first, be mindful of where you place the key, and second, make copies of said key before you don your leisure wear.

As a bonus, be ultra-clever and double check that the keys you have made actually fit the lock you made them for by testing them—before being closed inside.

Doing so will prevent you from having to make a complete ass of yourself by calling the State to free you, since in case you haven’t noticed, the State isn’t really into freeing people, especially from chastity belts.

Of course, if you’d rather not take this bit of wisdom into consideration, be forewarned that if you misplace the key, it will take quite a few tubes of chap-stick to lubricant that thing up enough to get out of.

Just sayin’.