Delicious and deadly.

Delicious and deadly.

Want to kick your 4th of July BBQ up a notch? Well, if you are in Hawaii, those divine members of the United States Geological Survey want to make sure you won’t get too creative and try to toast any marshmallows over a volcanic vent.

Since, you know, that could be problem.

From the rumblings earlier this year of the Kilauea Volcano, the USGS has been doing their due diligence to the American taxpayer and fielding Twitter questions about proper volcano behavior.

Marshmallows with a dash of H2S and SO2

Obviously your marshmallows should also be Statist.

Obviously your marshmallows should also be Statist.

When asked whether or not one should try roasting some marshmallows over a volcano, citing the amount of Sulphur dioxide or Hydrogen sulphide emitted, the USGS came down on the side of no, imploring the public to, “Please don’t try!”

Instead, why not go with the old standby advice of the Home and Garden Television Network and elevate your BBQ by desecrating the American flag having it double as both decoration and a picnic cloth?

Just sayin’.