How short is Putin? Goodness gracious. What happens when you get a bunch of major Statists from all over the world together for a summer powwow? Well, you make sure they strictly adhere to a “casual” and “relaxed” dress code. Oh, Mahmoud Statists.

Perhaps the outside black bloc rioters, would have a better chance of infiltrating the meeting if they dropped their balaclavas and hoodies in favor of something more along the lines of the G8 Dress Code listed below.

Rule 1: Shoes- Avoid sportswear and wear smart shoes, never trainers. Equally don’t be too formal; hats and evening gowns will look out of place.

Translation leather driving flats, no skulls, and no Adidas chain kicks.

Rule 2: Men should wear a jacket or blazer and flannels or chinos, not jeans. A shirt and tie can be worn but an open collar is also acceptable.

Translation: Obama, leave your mom jeans at home, please.Relaxed also apparently means embracing the gray.

Rule 3: Women should aim to be smart in a dress or skirt and top with a jacket or smart cover-up.

Translation: No Clinton cornucopia of pantsuits allowed.

We will say though, as far as Rule 3 and Merkel are concerned, her wide leg trousers are very flattering, and given that Germany is now paying for about a third of the EU, she shouldn’t have to squeeze into a pin-skirt for the sake the G8 boys.