Worth it?No one is more bougie than a socialist, and before France’s État d’urgence was extended yet again for another 3 months (until the next terrorist attack takes out another 70+ people and it’s upped again) President Hollande’s $11,000 per month hairdresser brought some outrage.

Sure, some of that outrage was that anyone would try and say that the horrible eagle’s mop on Hollande was worth even $11, much less $11,000 a month, but on the whole, it was the Government Spokesman’s response of, “Everyone needs their hair done, no? I can understand people’s questions, I can understand their judgments. He’s not just anybody, that’s all,” that has gotten citizens’ hackles up.

Of course, in a lot of ways Hollande’s $11,000 hairdresser is a classic example of socialist austerity, a platform Hollande has often promised to set him apart from his predecessor Nicolas Sarkozy.Better to say, “The attack in Nice,” instead of, “The Nice Attack.”

In other French barbershop related news, apparently the Bastille Day Massacre driver had started growing his beard 8 days before he decided to do some off-roading on firework spectators.

During a recent press conference, Prosecutor François Molins added that, “The significance of the beard is religious.”