Despite how hard the Mainstream Media tries to make #FLOTUS stand for the First Lady of Fashion, Michelle Antoinette just doesn’t have the taste or tailor to back that claim up, which was ever evident during her stint in London for the Big Games.

Which one is the Fashion Idol?

Let’s start with the above pic. Which one does the Media think is the one more handsomely dressed? That’s right, David Beckham Michelle Antoinette! Note how dignified Beckham looks. Polished, yet relaxed in a suit, he’s every bit the diplomatic dignitary, yet he’s the sportsman, and she’s the First Lady. The top she’s wearing is something I’d feel awkward even taking to wear during a hardcore, hot yoga session, and the lightly-colored pants quadruple the junk in her presidential trunk.

Designing women?

Then she decides to wear this bit of 1980’s resort wear as she greets the US team. (Nice touch with the US flag in the backdrop.) The ¾ length really isn’t the best choice for someone with such long arms to begin with, and looks far more Delta Burke on her than fashionable.

Wanting a little attention from Bill...

Enter the canary yellow pantsuit, she nabbed from Hillary Clinton’s closet. While the shade works well on her, the overall fit is a disaster. As this was worn for Boyle’s Opening Ceremony, people were disappointed that she didn’t go with something more along the patriotic red, white, and blue lines.

50 shades or 46?

For the basketball part, back were the same hideous pants from her adventure with David Beckham. Going for forty-six shades of gray, her cardigan combo isn’t bad and fits the occasion, just not her role as First Lady. The silver necklace also gets lost among the gray, despite the fact it probably cost more than a US coal miner’s yearly salary.

Is this clown look worn to show support for OWS?

This is probably her worst fashion offense so far. Mixed patterns only make one look like a crazed bag lady or Fizbo. End of story.

Let me just go cut some holes into my fav tank...

Again, who is her tailor? Those pants could not be any more ill-fitted to her if Helen Keller had done it herself. The tank top, with the ripped segment, only comes across as disheveled and poorly done. Not the outfit of a First Lady, and definitely not the outfit of a Fashion First Lady.

Troll to parasite, hello hello.

Finally you have the outfit that made political waves, as the Media practically pissed themselves trying to say how “fashion forward it is” and how fitting the $6,800 price tag was for the cap-sleeve top, despite having crucified Ann Romney for a $900 shirt a few weeks back. The Media, hypocritical? Noooo. Never. Sheer, sheer, and sheer.

While the structure of the top is nice, everyone seemed to ignore the fact that the white skirt was full on transparent. You can see everything, and trust us, that’s stuff that shouldn’t be seen. The number one fashion commandment when wearing white is to first check to make sure it’s not see-through in light or in photographs. Perhaps Michelle Antoinette’s handlers just thought that while pandering to the British Monarchy there wouldn’t be any direct or indirect lighting, and certainly there wouldn’t be any photo ops.

If the apocalypse is truly neigh, and Dear Leader takes the throne again, can we the taxpayers at least get Michelle Antoinette a proper stylist and tailor? You know, for the good of America?