While the mainstream media will spend the next week going over who won the First Presidential Debate last night, we can go ahead and tell you who lost: The American people.
Furthermore, if you really want to be blown away, PD already knows who is gonna lose in November. You ready? Really? Okay: The American people.
Apart from the absurdity that 2016 has turned into, our pessimism did get a slight increase by Senator Ted Cruz’s Friday endorsement of Donald Trump, followed by his glowing praise for Trump’s debate performance Monday night.
Yes, Ted, Trump didn’t lower his slacks and piss all over the podium—it truly was a miracle!
The other little added bonus Senator Cruz left us with, much like in the case of that guy in the back of your Psych 101 class that gifted you with VD freshman year, is that he
sold “rented” his mailing list to the Trump Campaign, which explains why your accounts have been spammed the last two weeks with pleas from the less attractive members of Donald’s family.
Thanks, buddy. We won’t forget.