Howard Dean has got to be shaking his head thinking, “What does this guy have that I don’t?”It’s a good thing PD didn’t have any money (just the fate of the semi-kinda-maybe-Freeish World) riding on the 2016 US Election, because boy, did we get it wrong.

Yup, we erred on the side of believing that the American public was far smarter than they are. Our bad.

In fact, from the beginning of Donald Trump tying himself to the ballot, we thought for sure it was just his annual publicity plug and the small-government minded would roll their eyes and carry on excited by the prospect of candidates not out rightly horrible, like Rand Paul and Ted Cruz.

Nope, we didn’t take into consideration that America is angry and apparently being angry gives one full carte blanche to abandon their principles and embrace the waves of idiocy.

Seems legit.

Yup, so now as you’re a cranky Republican it’s perfectly reasonable to vote for someone who funded Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton, John Cambodia Kerry, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Rahm Emanuel and the pièce de résistance Carlos Danger (Anthony Weiner).

You’re mad though, so it’s acceptable to believe that Trump says what he means and by goodness, he’s right, a feat easy to accomplish when you are duplicitous and hold every position under the sun for each issue, changing your soapbox depending upon the room you’re in.

You’re enraged though, and Ted Cruz lied about Ben Carson getting out of the race—a great point, since no one should ever quote a CNN headline.


Anyways, the public is so busy being really really mad about all of that Cruz/Carson stuff that they couldn’t give two moderate fucks about Donald Trump insinuating that Ben Carson was a pedophile back in November.

That was 2015, and this is now!!!! Really though, it’s a moot point as Carson has forgiven his new bestie Trump in exchange for a seat on the cabinet (rumor has it, it’s something to do with kids).

Heck, with all of the anger in the country it makes perfect sense to vote for a man demanding a pledge from you to never disagree with him.

Totally normal.

Besides, who hasn’t at least kind of lusted after their own daughter, and honestly, who cares if he was an Obama fanboy, loves eminent domain or gushed over how great Anna Wintour is? You’re mad!

So by all means, usher in fascism and fuck over any remnant of the Constitution. It’ll be fantastic.

Just sayin’.