Cats prefer private mail carriers. It does seem that the British Empire is no longer the imposing Goliath it once was; case in point, the Royal Mail has threatened to stop delivering letters to Matthew Sampson, because they are afraid of his cat.

No, cat isn’t being used here as a Harvey Weinstein-esque euphuism. We mean his actual moggie, lovingly called, Bella.

According to Sampson, he received a letter from the Royal Mail stating that his Postman has, “Reported that when he pushes the mail through your letterbox your cat snatches the mail and puts his fingers at risk of injury.”

Side note: Where is Mrs. Slocombe when the British Government needs her?The actual cat that strikes fear into the heart of the Royal Mail.

“We’ve noticed over the last couple of days that the Postman is very hesitant at putting the letters in and Bella thinks it’s a game that he’s trying to play.”

Ultimately, in order to assuage the Royal Mail’s fears and to keep receiving his junk mail, Sampson purchased an external mailbox.

Really, that’s the best you’ve got, Britain?