Of course, Gatorade might be banned soon as Michelle Antoinette is working on mandating “free” water. While the Unions, McDonald’s, and Dunkin’ Donuts hit the Washington circuit in a bid to wiggle themselves out of it, Forever 21, small businesses, and the rest of the Nation brace for impact.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Obamacare, and despite what a jack-o-lanterned-skinned, Republican, Speaker of the House whistles in the press today, it’s most likely here to stay.

At PD, we believe that it is perfectly natural to feel a bit of a tension headache coming on every time you’re reminded that the IRS will now be your general practitioner’s boss. As aspirin is on the fast track to being rationed, don’t worry, we have an alternative.

As always, PD’s got your back.That’s about how the ACA will be.

There’s no need to sell yourself on your local street corner to score a few Aleve for some relief, instead opt for two glasses of Gatorade.

Two glasses of any flavor of Gatorade, when sucked down within 30 minutes of each other, will take care of any headache current politics can throw at you—unless of course the headache is actually caused by a tumor, in which case you’ll need to head out to your local street corner ASAP to whore yourself out for an MRI.

You’re welcome.