Okay, the leather gloves (similar to Jimmy McMillian’s) are officially off when it comes to New Jersey
Boss Hog Chris Christie, as it’s now been proven beyond a shadow puppet of a doubt who exactly the Woodbury Governor really is.
All of the “tough talk” on Unions could never in Chris Christie’s case outweigh taking money from George Soros, and in fact, in PD’s desire and zeal to find a libertarian somewhere in government (wait…there seems to be a fallacy there) we overlooked the obvious, including Christie going after this century’s answer to Shirley Temple, Snooki.
In fact, we’d now like to make up for this lapse in judgment by explaining why Nicole Polizzi would make a far better candidate for liberty than Christie.
Let’s break it down.
Right out the gate, we have to point out that Snooki was one of the first (and only) to rail against Barack Obama’s tax hikes. Season 2 of The Jersey Shore started out with Snooki explaining in almost Hayekian terms why chunking taxes on the masses (specifically outlining the hikes on tanning beds) is not only counterproductive, but morally wrong.
Speaking of The Jersey Shore, Chris Christie had almost no problem carping about the show at every public opportunity, saying the cast’s drinking and drama was bad for New Jersey. Interesting as it was that drinking and drama that brought multi-full figured millions of dollars to the area in tourists from all over the globe.
Here’s another point, where Snooki shines: Season 1, Snooki learned a hard lesson about the true War on Women. No, it’s not Sandra Fluke’s the-public-most-pay-for-my-KY-jelly, but it’s where men think it is perfectly fine to hit a woman (or rape, stone, beat, etc.). Snooki spoke her mind to the guy at the bar, because she (like women all over the Nation) thought she could.
The square punch to the jaw, while it was deemed shocking by Nielsen homes, is standard procedure in the rest of the world. Freedom, the ability to speak your mind isn’t popular in say, Swaziland, and it certainly isn’t preached by clerics under Shiite or Sunni banners.
Snooki, after checking her teeth were still in place, was able to press charges against the douche that went Balboa on her face, Brad Ferro (who as a unionized gym teacher was then moved into a New York Education rubber room, where of course he maintained his salary and benefits). She then continued to stand up for what she believed in, despite the size discrepancies of those in the room. That takes strength of character.
Chris Christi’s strength of character is hardly apparent, as he continues to attack the cast of Jersey Shore.
After Hurricane Sandy, while Christie was trying to suckle at the teat of government handouts, Snooki on the other hand, knew instinctively that FEMA shouldn’t be the first responders, but that it was up to the individual to raise aid and help out. As Christi was worshipping at the altar of Bruce Springsteen, Snooki and her pals were helping to clear debris, and were busy raising over a $1,000,000 with their “Restore the Shore” telethon. She then rolled up her leopard print sleeves, donned a pair of über comfy Jeffery Campbell’s and got to work helping to rebuild people’s homes and businesses.
Even after all that, even after proving her love for Seaside, and being Jersey Strong, when Snooki and the rest of the cast could have easily said, “Screw Jersey,” because of the Christie’s barrage of insults, at the Shore unveiling Christi still refused to acknowledge Snooki’s olive branch.
Switching gears, let’s talk fiscally. Snooki has handled her new found wealth far better than anyone in Congress would, and definitely wouldn’t take a taxpayer fueled helicopter to catch the last ten minutes of her son, Lorenzo’s tee-ball game. Instead, she would budget her time accordingly and be there ten minutes before, camera in hand, nails done, all without asking Joe Six-Pack to pay her way.
How does she feel about the 2nd Amendment? Well, given her fiancé’s penchant for taking a bow out in the backyard for a little target practice, and her best friend, Jwoww, hitting the range with Roger (whom we’re thinking is a fan of firearms given the one he has tattooed on his hip) Snooki is by far more partial to the Constitution than anti-gun hardliner Christie.
Sure, Snooki was born in Chile and is too young to seek the presidency, but so long as the Clinton Machine doesn’t bring it up, PD thinks she has a real shot.