The good old days.As you watch animals people duke it out for a pair of Air Jordan Gamma Blue 11s and a Victoria Secret five for $20 panty sale, you might be tempted to think that materialism is the new Church of Christ.

Well, as bad as things are, let’s not sugarcoat the past. So before you decide to write off humanity forever, consider the 1953 Christmas carol Santa Baby.

Written by the niece of the Theodore Roosevelt worshipping Republican Progressive Senator Jack Javits, Joan Javits and Philip Springer, Santa Baby provides a clear look at the materialism of the 1950’s.

Santa baby, just slip a Sable under the tree for me
Been an awful good girl, Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

(A sable refers in this case to a fur. Sables are a species of marten—not Martian, think of a more ferret like creature—that lives primarily in Russia. A full sable coat currently runs around $160,000 and is known as the aristocrat of furs.)A ’54 would still fetch a good price on the Vintage market.

Santa baby, a ’54 convertible too, light blue
I’ll wait up for you dear, Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

(The ’54 convertible even now is the iconic automobile of the 1950’s. The light blue color has been known since the song as Tiffany Blue, and let’s face it, isn’t all that commonly used for current cars.)

Think of all the fun I’ve missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed
Next year I could be just as good… if you check off my Christmas list

Tis the season to pile it up.Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot
Been an angel all year, Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

(A yacht, that one is pretty self-explanatory, and those can easily hit the multi-million dollar mark.)

Santa honey, one little thing I really need
The deed to a platinum mine, Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

(Platinum to this day is considered a somewhat rare material, with only about 100 tons produced per year. Zimbabwe and the Republic of South Africa are big on platinum mines.)

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with the duplex and checks
Sign your ‘X’ on the line, Santa cutie
And hurry down the chimney tonight.

(What makes for a better Christmas than a duplex and a few blank checks?)

Come and trim my Christmas tree with some decorations bought at Tiffany
I really do believe in you
Let’s see if you believe in me…Not quite Tiffany, but we’re sure it would do in a pinch.

(Oddly enough, in one of the more painful breakups of the century, Tiffany & Co. was just ordered by Dutch courts to pay Swatch Group $450 million earlier this week.)

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing… a ring
I don’t mean on the phone, Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

(A ring, probably done in anything other than platinum since she’s already got her own mine and would definitely want something different.)

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight!

So tell us, dear PDers, do you feel better about the retail brawling over shoes and underwear?