Kathleen Sebelius at a PR harvest event outside the Department of Health and Human Services…anyone else find that creepy? If there’s anyone still out there feeling good about the implications of Obamacide Obamacare our staff has yet another story that is sure to shore up that belief, along with good news about the Tooth Fairy’s open heart surgery.

The media wants you to rest in peace assured that all of the information Obamacare legislation obligates you to enter onto the Obamacare website, you know during those precious seconds in-between error messages, is 108% secure.

Wicked über-hack proof.

Ultra very safe.

In fact the media wants to make clear to you that the Obamacare website is even more secure than Janet Napolitano’s virginity— despite the fact the Department of Health and Human Services’ (the government branch overseeing Obamacare’s web real estate) own website was recently hacked by Chinese counterfeit Ugg and Armani purveyors.Actually, this looks like a major improvement to the site.

Hey, there’s clearly no need for concern, after all, who doesn’t love a $40 Coach purse?

Of course, the concept of hacking government websites is nothing new, and clearly didn’t start with the fake Gucci wielding Chinese or Anonymous We Are Legion and Long Winded gurus. Even NASA’s website was hacked back in September by bored Brazilians.

Who says Chinese fakes are bad? Now, be sure to put the name of the street you lived on when you were 8, your social security number, Manolo Blahnik size, favorite Johnny Cash song, cat’s middle name, cup size, driver’s license number, religion, last menstruation, turn ons, and anything else Valerie Jarrett can think of on your Obamacare application without fear, because everything big government touches is super safe and secure.