While Turkey was busy breaking up gay pride gatherings in Istanbul with tear gas and rubber bullets, their neighbor Iran was finally able to nail down why there’s been so little rain this year—immodesty.
Sure, we all remember how Mullah Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi reasoned back in 2010 that, “Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,” but the recent drought in Iran has baffled many, until now.
Senior Cleric Seyyed Youssef Tabatabi-nejad (or spelled somewhere close to that) laid out the charge recently that the reason why the Zayandeh-rud River has been on the drier side is that women have been dressing—gasp—with a Western feel.
No, not cowboy hats which are rarely a good look on anyone, but Western as in skirts, shorts, exposed ankles, you know that type of thing.
“My office has received photos of women next to the dry Zayandeh-rud River pictured as if they are in Europe. It is these sorts of acts that cause the river to dry up even further.”
Settled Science Seyyed then called for the Iranian Communications Ministry to stop television networks from encouraging immodesty in Iranian women, saying, “If you don’t do so, then you will have failed to carry out your duty.”
Impressed? It gets better as he added, “The Communications Ministry can discover and suffocate these individuals.”
Of course, being a true scholar (he is the Senior Official of the Assembly of Experts after all) Seyyed has other ideas about bringing back rain clouds. “If we see a sin it’s useless that we only bicker about it. The police force can use the Hezbollahi forces to carry out operations to root out vice.”
Who, we ask you, could be skeptical about that?