More government sanctioned shopping.Just in case you thought PD was overreacting when we said to get the heck out of dodge Caracas as soon as you could two years ago, we have a little update on that front.

Sure, obviously you’re aware about how electricity has been heavy rationed and how President Maduro insists women no longer blow-dry their hair, but as of this week, under the guise of the so-called Great Mission of Sovereign Supplying, Venezuela’s military has taken control over five ports (Guanta, Guamache, La Guaira, Maracaibo and Puerto Cabello), stationed army officials in processing plants, and has taken over the responsibility of distribution of goods…you know, to guarantee supplies of food and medicine.

Last week, when the Texas company Kimberly-Clark decided to shut their factory doors in Venezuela due to a lack of raw materials, Maduro simply sent the army in with orders to open them again.Supposedly, Maduro only reopened the Kimberly-Clark factory, because the 971 plant workers asked him to. Now, that’s a dictator that listens.

According to Oswaldo Vera, the windbreaker clad Venezuelan Labor Minister, “Kimberly-Clark will continue producing for all Venezuelans and is now in the hands of the workers. We’ve just turned on the first engine.”

With President Maduro and the military minds behind the Great Mission of Sovereign Supplying there will be a casket available for everyone in no time.