Even our pool doesn’t listen to Michelle Obama.Time to ditch the news cycle and boardroom for bluer seas.

If last month’s pic of George Bernard Shaw in his swimming costume didn’t get you in the mood to hit the pool, then maybe these unique ( as in kind of nutty, but possibly in a good way) suits could do the trick.

First, channeling your inner Sailor Solider, combine this suit with meat-balled hair and you will be ready to take on the worst of what the Negaverse can throw at you.

Tuxedo Mask and Luna not included.

Available also in Sailor Mercury form.

This swimsuit paired with a blue coif? Brilliant.

Going along with any childhood cartoon nostalgia you might be nursing, there’s also this Minnie Mouse number.

This is the State-approved swimming costume of the DPRK.

FYI: The above is a Kim Jong-Un staple.

Last of our Saturday morning collection is this fruit loop suit. Watch out though, this suit will attract a special caliber of gentlemen that will disgustingly offer you some of their milk for your cereal.

Bonus points for the motif, if you can find a Captain Crunch one.

Trust us, we know.

Are you in to the Death Valley look, coupled with a dash of the Italian flag? If so, the below swimsuit might be creepily calling your name.


Nothing says chic quite like a picked clean animal head coming out of your crotch.

Born in June? Then this pearl number is right up your alley.

Pearls, the hallmark of a lady.

Again though, this suit may open you up to offers of free pearl necklaces from Cape Verdean sunglass purveyors.

If you won’t be soaking up the rays along the Red Sea, then you might be able to wear this spiritual suit without beheading or long term jail time.

Ready for mass?

Hey, beach and blasphemy go together nicely.

Or you are sick of trying to hit your birth weight, embrace the optical illusion that is this XRAY suit.

Wear near Chernobyl for the irony.

Nothing quite courts fate like this shark bite design pictured below. Be forewarned though, you may encounter some overzealous creepers that will attempt to give you first aid while hitting the beach in this one.

And you'll be subject to the duunnn dunnn... duuuunnnn duun... duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn all day.

It might be a wardrobe classic and ultra-slimming, but if you are planning on spending some serious hours poolside, a black swimsuit spells H-E-A-T S-T-R-O-K-E.

Not for 42C + days.

PD has written often about our love of anything neon come summertime, and the suit below takes odd tan lines to a new level by covering a one piece with extra bikini bottoms.

Like looking directly at the sun.

Hang in there, baby, with this 1980’s ode to cats and the single life.

Watch the eyes though.

Shouldn’t Halloween be kept alive in your heart year round? Or is that Christmas?

Leave the hat at home...

Either way, this pumpkin homage is bewitching.

Want to blend in? Try this camo look.

They had these on D'Day.

Or go with the ultimate camo deluxe number below.

Nothing like rocks on your kooka.

For as long as D&G continues to fight against those Italian technocrats, our staff cannot help but be attracted to all of their lines, even this grape vine 50’s cut below. Gorgeous.

Old World ready.

What say you, PDers? Do any of these have you checking Travelocity for some cheap tickets? Let us know in the comments below.