Is it an extreme marketing move by the promotion execs of The Great Gatsby, to get the masses in the 1920’s mood? Is it a way to wipe out the homeless population before the first few freezes do? Is it the Slovakian mob trying to break and push out the Russian mob? Is it the Czech mob trying to cut out the Vietnamese middle man? Is it a Rahm Emanuel meets Cass Sunstein move by the EU to rope the Czech booze market into high tariffs and more regulation? Is it the case of someone buying a poor quality label marker?
Whatever it was, any hard liquor (with all eyes on the main culprit vodka) over 20% is now banned in the Czech Republic and Poland, with more countries expected to come. Worried about what to do with that bottle stashed in the back of your freezer? PD’s got you covered.
As much fun as getting methanol poisoning must be, opting for our seven vodka magic tips below might be a better bet.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 1: Use on mosquito bites.
Not sure how Onslow got a mosquito bite there? Tell him not to worry, and just dab a cotton ball of vodka on the bite. No more itching.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 2: Spritz it on your clothes to remove cigarette and other odors.
Live in Europe? Smell like an ashtray? Take public transport? Smell like sweaty fish? Yeah, grab a spray bottle and pour in a little vodka. The vodka will blind and kill those odor-causing germs and bacteria.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 3: Make your store-bought flowers last longer.
By adding a few drops of vodka to the vase, you can extend the life of your bouquet by a full week.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 4: Beautify your bathtub.
Destroy mold in your bathroom, by pouring liberal amounts of vodka on it. Let it sit for ten minutes, then wipe clean.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 5: Boost your hair shine factor.
Pour a shot of vodka into your standard shampoo. Viola. Your hair will get a little giddy and shine like crazy.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 6: Treat poison ivy.
Did you accidentally get wrapped up in poison ivy while looking for the best pumpkin in the patch? Pour some vodka on that rash stat.
Vodka Magic Tip Number 7: Use vodka as your face cleanser.
Mix one teaspoon vodka, with two teaspoons of lemon juice and one teaspoon of water. Not only with this mix remove your makeup, and tighten your skin, it will also shrink your pores.
You’re welcome. Na zdraví.