Remember how Sarah Jessica Parker and company used Sex and the City 2 to showcase
Morroco Abu Dhabi as the New-New Middle East? Well, in case you were wondering, PD wants to know that Iran is the New-New-New-New-New-New-Old-New-New Middle East.
Head of the Tourism Commission and former street sweeper, PD’s Ahmadiney Genie made it clear earlier this week that Iran is all about peace and unity, citing that all right thinking foreign devils should get in on the ground floor of the Caliphate ASAP.
“World Muslims should forge unity in their struggle with bullying powers, and by the time that the Zionist usurpers commit crimes through occupation and vandalism…All differences and discords among Muslims have roots in our misunderstanding of Holy Quran and guidelines of Prophet Mohammad. Today we need leadership similar to the prophet to get the Muslim world united.”
Have you ever taken the NASA tour in Houston, Texas? Well, the high outdoor temps might be matched, but the equipment and space cadets in Houston can’t hold a candle to the Iranian’s. Just look at that face!
Not a science buff? Prefer to get out into those sweaty crowds and meet the people? Well, Iran does not disappoint with a full weekly schedule of public hangings, stonings, and finger removal. Standing room only.
Feeling peckish? Grab a barg kabob from a roadside stall, and be sure to order a side of torshi.
Despite their German namesake, blonde hair and blue eyes don’t really go over too well in this neck of the woods, so correct those Great Satan imperfections before you go, with a dark dye job and some contact lenses.