We could give this week’s Genius Idea to the marketing team of Starbucks and their racial version of New Coke, but instead, we’re all about Spring cleaning and reorganizing, and for that we’ll turn it over to the Feng shui masters of Daash.
While two American twenty-somethings are scheduled to appear before an Italian court for carving a three inch J & N into a wall of the Colosseum, Daash has decided that their role in bringing back the Grand Mufti is to redesign all of the tourist traps of the Middle East today, and then those of Europe and America tomorrow.
With bulldozers, hammers, or just good old elbow grease, if it’s a few thousand years old and of historical importance, it’s got to go.
“We have warned before and we warn again that those gangs and their sick Takfiri ideology will continue to destroy and steal artifacts as long as there is no strong deterrent," the Iraq Ministry of Tourism and Antiquities reiterated earlier this month.
Not a fan of coffee table books, or really any books for that matter, Daash also made it a point to burn thousands of titles in the Mosul Library.
Speaking of books, before they finished leaving their decorative mark on Mosul, Daash also decided that Jonah’s Tomb (yes, that Jonah, the one that did time in a whale) would look better if leveled.
The visionaries of the group went with a machine gun motif for the ruins in Hatra (making things extra ruiny), while others went over Nimrud (yes, named after that Nimrod) with sledgehammers, a move Cambodia Kerry called, “Depraved.”
"These depraved acts are an assault on the heritage of the Iraqi and Syrian people by an organization with a bankrupt and toxic ideology."
Hmmm….Mr. Secretary, what ideology would that be? Can you say or is the Obama Administration still playing their tired game of jihadi charades?
Enjoy your weekend and if you have anything in your town of “historical importance” you might want to pay it a visit while you still can.