Political Dresser

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Creepy Costumes: Cambodia John Kerry

No...couldn't be.You have to make sure that tie and scarf on Old Man Winter match.It’s time our staff put something to rest. While most of the internet swears that Secretary of State John Kerry is merely a moonlighting Herman Munster, PD wishes to repudiate that claim.

First and foremost, Herman Munster was a family man and pillar of the Mockingbird Heights community. Herman Munster also never bashed the military. Further, Cambodia Kerry is only a mere 6ft 3in, while Herman was a healthy 7ft 6in according to his driver’s license.

So, if you are wanting to bore your Halloween guests to death with a Kerry costume, for the sake of Herman Munster, please do not go the Frankenstein’s Kerry Monster route.

What you’ll need: If you are wanting to go as the Daily John Kerry, keep your suit expensive, and be sure your tie color-coordinates with your scarf. Kerry is a big fan of that hipster staple.The Munsters' have feelings too.

What you should do: Talk. Constantly. Bonus points for being incredibly long-winded and incoherent. Seriously, the key to Kerry is that he loves the sound of his own voice, and though he fancies himself the smartest man in the room he tends to mispronounce basic words and say a whole lot of nothing.

Pair this costume up with: a bottle of Heinz Ketchup to remind the rest of the world how much of a 99%er you really are, or make Hanoi Jane your date and perhaps after some trick or treating you can both testify about those decimated phoon stocks.

You’re welcome. 

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People in this conversation

  • Guest (Jenny Kriesher)

    Poor Herman! Ppl on the internet can be so cruel.

    0 Like
  • Guest (John Wick)

    You could also carry around a wind-board.

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