Political Dresser

Creepy Costume Idea: Auntie Maxine

Creepy Costume Idea: Auntie Maxine

The Wall costume not for you? The cost of feathers too high thanks to the EPA to go as Elizabeth...

Just Sayin’: You Might Want to Watch that Plastic Surgery

Just Sayin’: You Might Want to Watch that Plastic Surgery

A nip here, a tuck there, hey---even Ferraris need a little maintenance every now and then....

2017’s Controversial Costumes

2017’s Controversial Costumes

Move over Zombie Castro, the results are in for what the mainstream media has dubbed the most...

Memory Lane Monday: Tajikistan Texts

Memory Lane Monday: Tajikistan Texts

In keeping up with our Creepy October Mondays, this week PD (using our best Crypt Keeper...

Genius Idea: Cemetery Sex

Genius Idea: Cemetery Sex

If you ever read Fox News, where it’s all female teachers having sex with under-aged students all...

General Taco Wants Your SPF High

SPF 85, people!Another article about the New Black Panther Party? You’d think PD was a 13 year old with a crush! No, no, our PD contributors are well out of puberty, but let’s face it, the New Black Panthers with their glitzy get-ups, wise monikers, and raucous moves to take over the fashion world are just too much fun not to write about!

Today’s NBPP piece is on General Taco (not to be confused with Vice Admiral Gordita or Grand Marshal Quesadilla). General Taco, which stands for Take All Capitalists Out (wow, why can’t PD come up with something that clever?) wants to be sure that all whites wear an SPF no smaller than 85 this summer, otherwise those honkies run the risk of becoming pink. Taco ain’t a fan of no pinkies.

General Taco said recently on radio that he wanted to hunt pink people and their pink asses down. Then he wanted to kill them, bury them, dig them up, kill them again, bury them again, and then dig them up again, and for good measure go through that whole process a few more times. I be lookin' off yo computer screen, honky.

Now, to the uneducated honky that could sound a little redundant and like the illogical ramblings of a ……crazy person. Not so! General Taco went on to explain, that it’s the pink people that push crack, AIDS, and unemployment on blacks everywhere.

At first, I was inclined to disagree, but then I thought back to last summer on the beaches of Croatia, where I’d gotten way too much sun, and had made the mistake of going with a SPF of 20. For two whole weeks, I was pinker than Porky Pig, and was consistently late to all business meetings, because I got distracted trying to peddle smack to the black kids in my neighborhood. One day, I was extra late, because I had to chase a home boy three blocks in order to syringe him with AIDS.

All in all, those two weeks were really rough. Clearly, General Taco knows what he’s talking about. Come on, crackers! Don’t skimp on that sun block!

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