Political Dresser

Just Sayin’: Victoria Secret and Turkey Not Riding the Waves Well

Just Sayin’: Victoria Secret and Turkey Not Riding the Waves Well

A company almost having it worse than any Sharm el Sheikh resort these days, has to be Victoria’s...

Memory Lane Monday: National Park Pledge

Memory Lane Monday: National Park Pledge

Remember all of those family vacations from your childhood spent crammed into the back of the...

Genius Idea: An Avocado Instruction Manual

Genius Idea: An Avocado Instruction Manual

In the last year, avocado back from a 1980’s slumber (much like the KGB) has taken the place of...

After Thomas Cook Bails Egypt Tries For a Miracle

After Thomas Cook Bails Egypt Tries For a Miracle

Another week and another hit for Egypt’s Tourism Industry.

Just Askin’: Why Shouldn’t Aborigines Be Able to Purchase a Chanel Boomerang?

Just Askin’: Why Shouldn’t Aborigines Be Able to Purchase a Chanel Boomerang?

Apparently, after calling Too Faced to the colorful carpet last month, Jeffree Star’s social...

General Taco Wants Your SPF High

SPF 85, people!Another article about the New Black Panther Party? You’d think PD was a 13 year old with a crush! No, no, our PD contributors are well out of puberty, but let’s face it, the New Black Panthers with their glitzy get-ups, wise monikers, and raucous moves to take over the fashion world are just too much fun not to write about!

Today’s NBPP piece is on General Taco (not to be confused with Vice Admiral Gordita or Grand Marshal Quesadilla). General Taco, which stands for Take All Capitalists Out (wow, why can’t PD come up with something that clever?) wants to be sure that all whites wear an SPF no smaller than 85 this summer, otherwise those honkies run the risk of becoming pink. Taco ain’t a fan of no pinkies.

General Taco said recently on radio that he wanted to hunt pink people and their pink asses down. Then he wanted to kill them, bury them, dig them up, kill them again, bury them again, and then dig them up again, and for good measure go through that whole process a few more times. I be lookin' off yo computer screen, honky.

Now, to the uneducated honky that could sound a little redundant and like the illogical ramblings of a ……crazy person. Not so! General Taco went on to explain, that it’s the pink people that push crack, AIDS, and unemployment on blacks everywhere.

At first, I was inclined to disagree, but then I thought back to last summer on the beaches of Croatia, where I’d gotten way too much sun, and had made the mistake of going with a SPF of 20. For two whole weeks, I was pinker than Porky Pig, and was consistently late to all business meetings, because I got distracted trying to peddle smack to the black kids in my neighborhood. One day, I was extra late, because I had to chase a home boy three blocks in order to syringe him with AIDS.

All in all, those two weeks were really rough. Clearly, General Taco knows what he’s talking about. Come on, crackers! Don’t skimp on that sun block!

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