It seems the old dental geniuses from OPI have come out with a new nail lacquer collection just in time for fall. Not just any collection, mind you, but a German one. Jawohl!
Now, let’s address the two big Bavarian elephants in our mental Reichstag: Germany through (I don’t know, let’s have some breathing room) 1930-1950, and the current Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel.
To be uncomfortably honest, my first thought when I heard that OPI was doing a German collection was, “And what cute names exactly are they going to give those shades?”
Zyklon B Shimmer ? Prussian Blue? Untermensch Yellow? Or my favorite, Furher’s Red Fury.
Of course, OPI played it
smart safe, and went the more benign route: German-icure (seriously?), My Very First Knockwurst (Bratwurst would have better fit the color motif), Danke-Shiny Red (does this one make you think of William Shatner also?), Schnapps Out of It (a great fit to the color), Deutsch You Want Me Baby (will someone please get that song out of our head?!), Unfor-greta-bly Blue (lame), Suzi and the 7 Düsseldorfs (feels like a bit of a reach), Every Month is Oktoberfest (not sure why this is used for a purple shade), Nein! Nein! Nein! Ok Fine! (ooookay), Don’t Talk Bach to Me (OPI could have also used, I’ll be Bach), Don’t Pretzel My Buttons (another reach), and finally Berlin There Done That (less of a reach).
Now as far as the colors themselves are concerned, the homeruns are the taupey-gray of Berlin There Done That, Danke-Shiny Red, the honey pink of Don’t Pretzel My Buttons, and the dark purple of German-icure.
The dead strikeout is the swamp yellow of Don’t Talk Bach to Me, which not only isn’t autumn appropriate, it’s not nail appropriate, as it’s hideous. The rest of the collection is just so-so.
Then there’s the Merkel aspect. Doing a German Collection now, with an EU so full of strife, and fingers pointed squarely on the German Chancellor trying to keep it all together, does it make sense?
Germany has been saddled as the responsible friend, which now has to pay for everybody’s drink orders. Rightly, Germany is a bit pissed, as it feels like a repeat of every Friday night. Unfortunately Greece, Portugal, and Spain are so drunk off their asses that the moment Germany tries to switch them to water they get belligerent.
Is now really the time for OPI to be breaking out the lederhosen?