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Coal’s Nordic Funeral

Seriously, that's the best you've got, Iceland?Well, if there’s a politician out there with bad judgment it’s Mark Sanford Barack Obama John Boehner Icelandic Prime Minister Sigmundur David Gunnlaugsson. A near fatal fashion misstep and now a chunk of the world knows that he has a fungal foot infection and is an idiot.

Photographs and subsequent ribbing arose of Gunnlaugsson (whom for the record has an awesome last name---hey, PD doesn’t hate---okay, usually we do) meeting with Glorious Dictator Obama while kitted out with one (count it) black Nike trainer, and one (count it again) black leather loafer.

Dressed in the dark? Jelly nerves at the possibility of a handshake with the Great Uniter? A Punk rock streak he hasn’t been able to shake since his days in Heimaey?

No, first his staff---which if they are actually paid by the taxpayers and not strictly volunteer should be pink-slipped on the spot---went the Gunnlaugsson’s-left-foot-is-swollen-from-the-flight route.

Really? A 3 hour and 10 minute flight is too much for the mighty Icelandic PM to handle? Following that tact, an international debate started over Syria how much of a pussy this guy is.

Then finally the fungal truth came out and antibiotics were presented. Okay, we understand that this is a misstep that Gunnlaugsson is unlikely to live down or repeat again, but to anyone out there faced with a similar situation, we offer the following:

Send your team out for a sized-up pair of dress shoes. There are wonderful places in Stockholm called stores, where you can go and exchange some type of currency for items you desperately need---like a pair of Cole Haans. If your feet are swollen or hurt go a ½ to 2 sizes bigger.

If you absolutely feel that there is no chance in hell that you can stomach your heels or stiff business wingtips, then fully commit to the trainers. Don’t just wear one. Wear both of them. Commit!!!! If you don’t commit, and wear just one ale Gunnlaugsson you’ll look like you should be committed. Note the difference? Great.Denmark knows how to play it.

If someone asks, what’s with the running shoes, just say that you’re dogged by shin-splints from training for your third Ironman. Boom. That’s all you need to do, and instead of looking like a 7 year old pigtailed and bowed girl you come across as a boss.

Or, you can be a woman about it, and do what we’ve done for years---Suck it up, and shove your hoof in and deal with it. Please gentlemen, women have crammed their battered, swollen, and broken feet into seven inch spikes since the dawn of time (we believe it was a Tuesday---few people know that).

Coal.While we’re talking about shoes, check out the heels on Helle Thorning-Schmidt, the Prime Minister of Denmark. Now, that’s a leader---albeit a raging big government socialist leader, but still.

Oh, and by the way, Obama and these Nordic leaders just decided to dick over coal. “As part of our commitment to accelerating the transition to low-carbon energy systems worldwide, the leaders of Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Norway, and Sweden will join the United States in ending public financing for new coal-fired power plants overseas, except in rare circumstances. We will work together to secure the support of other countries and multilateral development banks to adopt similar policies. The Nordic countries and the United States agreed to continue their work, in all appropriate channels, to reduce the use of domestic fossil fuel subsidies globally.” 

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People in this conversation

  • Guest (Keyalte)

    Did we really expect more from Iceland?

    0 Like
  • Guest (Aaron)

    Is Stockholm fresh out of shoe stores? Dafaq?

    0 Like
  • Guest (Studex)

    What's O's energy plan? Soylent green?:(

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