Political Dresser

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Daash Fashion Trends for Spring/Summer 2016

Talk about a “hatchet” job.  Available in ebook for all your jihadi fashion needs.While you and yours might have found yourselves snowed in today, the Anna Wintour of the terror world, Daash has already released their fashion edicts for wreaking havoc in the coming warmer weather.

Their annual advice booklet, The Safety and Security Guidelines for Lone Wolf Mujahideen and Small Cells (dare we say the Daash Spring/Summer Lookbook?) features some great pearls of wisdom for those lone jihadists looking to really make an impact in their local area.

Again, as with the last few seasons, Daash has ruled that the beard is out, and that it’s better to look clean shaven and to blend in well with a crowd.Sorry, but that $2,000 Narciso Rodriguez wears you, not the other way around. It’s your last year in the White House, maybe it’s time to fire your stylist?

As a lone wolf of the Prophet, naturally you should make sure your clothes match and avoid garish shades of red and yellow, as Michelle Obama at the recent State of the Union proved with her mustard monstrosity, those colors can be tough to pull off.

Also, even though obviously men of the Islamic State prefer to douse themselves in Chanel No.5 and other high-end ladies fragrances, Daash suggests that if you are planning to blow yourself up you should go with an alcohol heavy manly musk, staying away from anything too floral.

 The jihadi look has certainly changed from 2014. Besides, alcohol makes a great accelerant.

Of course, with it being a new fashion season and possibly your last, the temptation to pick up a whole new wardrobe down to some fresh kicks should be avoided as according to Daash, “That will get too much attention."

So, try to revive your older duds buried back deep in your closet.

Remember, for those of the Islamic State, Spring/Summer terror is all about blending in. 

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People in this conversation

  • Guest (eikon5091)

    Didn't hear Obama say not to worry about ISIL? They're just the JV team.:(

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  • Guest (BangorPly)

    I saw that they were also encouraged to wear crosses to better blend in in the West.

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  • Guest (Amber)

    This is a great story and police always catch the thieves with different method. Police ready to 24 hours for the protection to the public however australian essay writing websites help. There will always be a lot of information online and therefore it is up to a boy to pick on what he or she finds important.

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