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DO YOU GOT INSURANCE?

Seriously, those are the digits. Talk about getting it in the ass.Think the title is a little grammatically rough even for our American educated editor? Well, your suspicions are correct that heading wasn’t dreamed up by the PD staff instead it comes from the Federal government funded Colorado Consumer Health Initiative and ProgressNow Colorado Education brainchild---- doyougotinsurance.com.

This website features the cutting edge gruff snuff in painful propaganda for Obamacare.

Full disclosure: If you opted for a big breakfast this morning, do yourself a favor and skip this article. There will be upchuck.

First, we meet Susie and Nate. There is so much wrong with this that it’s like looking at the sun, only without the perks of warmth and blindness.

Have you ever heard anyone say Hot to Trot in any other context than a Thanksgiving 5k?

Susie doesn’t worry about the creatures lurking in Nate’s eyebrows and obviously dense downward jungle. Nope, with Obamacare all she is concerned about is getting him in between the sheets wearing that God-awful, 2003 Express, polyester-blend sleeveless monstrosity.

What a couple!

Susie, despite your desire to wear peep-toe heels with Gap jeans, not even you deserve to be with a clear douche like Nate. Come on girl, it’s the 90’s 10’s.

There’s also a lovely little asterisk that says that the pill doesn’t protect you from STDS (which let’s be honest, we all know Nate’s packing), but condoms and common sense do. Ballsy move actually writing common sense on the advertisement, since if one had common sense they wouldn’t have Obamacare in the first place.

Don't you wanna be just like these guys?

Finally, political marketing gurus are catering to the hundreds of millions of roller derby enthusiasts. Writing about how they will leave you bloody and broken, one cannot help but miss and long for the classic lines simple, brown, button-downs used to make.

Oh, honey, no.

Not to go all Dan Savage on you guys, but really---Smokin’ hot? Uh… really, pudding? That’s what you guys think?

The whole thing is just not flattering----for anyone. The girls pictured, or us having to look at the girls pictured.

Ignoring the usage of 4th grade shorthand with BFF, conventional wisdom calls for only a glass and a half of red wine, not lots. Ladies, getting white-girl wasted every night won’t be the key factor in you not getting heart disease.

Finally, alluding to having good insurance would mean that you actually don’t have Obamacare. Again, ballsy.

Pretty sure we just threw up a little in our mouths.

First, we’d like to commend that excellent photoshop removal of the foot tattoo. Really solid work (this coming from us, an organization that primarily uses MS Paint---yeah, this ad is that bad).

Moving far from the Ryan Gosling grossness, and horrifying fangirl expression, who in the United States has ever had difficulty getting birth control?

Were you shot at everytime you neared that certain aisle at WaWas? Did an elite team of Navy Seals come down from the roof on ropes and surround you? Did they ghost plane you to Syria to really teach you a lesson?

Colorado style? Ugh...no.

Oh look! Even the lesbian actress from Sex in the City got in on the Obamacare action. No? That’s not her on the end? Well…okay. Nevermind.

This last ad really hurts. Shotskis? Shotskis? Shotskis? Good night, Colorado, we are so done with you.

Besides, flu shots don’t necessarily keep you healthy, but hey, why be sticklers for accuracy?

What do you guys think? How about the creepy Nuevo ring-esque Obamacare half circles? Do these ads make you want to jump on the Obamacare train, or just under one?

Let us know down in the comments. 

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People in this conversation

  • Guest (Governor)

    So glad I left Colorado years ago.

    0 Like
  • Guest (Adrina)

    The Nate guy is the creepiest of them all!

    0 Like
  • Guest (Landon)

    Woof.

    0 Like
  • Guest (Sadler)

    Roller Derby? Roller Derby? Give me a break.

    0 Like
  • Guest (vespavested)

    Nate looks like my exe. Honey, you gonna get crabs!:D

    0 Like

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