Political Dresser

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Genius Idea: Give the Government Control Over Education

Well....maybe.It’s a bit too hard to ignore last weekend’s unveiling of just how terrible the United States Department of Education is. Billions of dollars, a teachers' Union kitted out with rubber rooms and tenure, near golden palaces to study in, and yet when looking behind the eyes of those trumped in and out of that system one quickly discovers no one is home.

No one.

Hey, this is a hard revelation. No one likes to be called stupid, but from the moment the citizenry agreed to secede their educational choices to a bureaucratic branch----well, that was all she was capable of writing.

Miss South Carolina in all her glory.Come on, the Department of Education was former President Jimmy Carter’s baby. Of course it would be bad.

Giving a government power over any aspect of your life is bad, but giving a government control over your children’s education yields Miss Teen USA contestants like 2007’s Miss South Carolina, and a wealth of twenty-somethings wanting to bomb the Czech Republic.

When news broke (we believe it was the twelfth narrative of the mainstream media’s handle on the Boston Bombers) that the suspects were Chechen, twitter blew up with people wanting to show those Czechoslovakians who’s boss.

One word: Painful. Painfuuuuuuulllllllllll.

It’s really bad. The following is a short contemplation of just some of the offenders:

That damn Czech GOP at it again!

Wait! Maybe this is the Iranian guy with the time machine...

Hipster genius.

Is this too stupid to be considered a threat?

Big talk for a guy that goes by Snowflake.

Making connections...That's a clever one.

You tell them, Jimmy McMillan!

#getamap

Easy there, Killer.

Soon to be an anchor on CNN..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Easy there, Killer.

Now, a few members of the PD staff are American, and on the whole, we understand that geography can be confusing when it comes to the cluster of Stans (note that’s Stans not Satans), but confusing Chechnya with Czechoslovakia…where shall we start? We always look to Rev. Wright for solace.

Well, first there is no Czechoslovakia. Czechoslovakia was cobbled together in 1918, at the end of WW1. It wasn’t ever a perfect union and finally after the overthrow of Soviet satellite rule and the induction of a free market in 1993, Czechoslovakia dissolved into two countries, the Czech Republic and Slovakia.

While the two countries get along fairly well, there is a bit of rivalry between them, an example being when Slovakia rushed to accept the Euro first. Yes, for a full two weeks Slovakians tried to rub their “evolved first world” status in the face of the Czech citizenry.

The Czech Republic which has still managed to furlough their adoption of the Euro, always has a good laugh at that.

Anyways, of the all of the former Soviet block states, there hasn’t been a greater or more eager US alley than the Czechs. They performed amazing backflips to make sure the NATO missile defense would go up, until new management (Barack Obama) decided it was better to suck face with Putin, nixing the deal and left all participating countries out to dry.

Instant migraine.Oh, and that big bad Czech Republic just sent 4,000,000 kc to the town of West, Texas in aid after the fertilizer plant bombing last week. Yeah, what bad guys. By the way, the whole of the Czech Republic could fit about nine times into the state of Texas.

The online stupidity became so bad, that Czech officials felt compelled to issue a statement, “As more information on the origin of the alleged perpetrators is coming to light, I am concerned to note in the social media a most unfortunate misunderstanding in this respect. The Czech Republic and Chechnya are two very different entities - the Czech Republic is a Central European country; Chechnya is a part of the Russian Federation.”

Yeah, that’s bad.

Disclaimer: Any typos or grammatical errors featured here in this article are down to the PD staff member composing this having been educated in the United States. 

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People in this conversation

  • Guest (Helmut)

    You are lucky, that you can home-school your kids. Here in Germany we still have the Hitler's law which forbids it. :(

    from Dresden, Germany
  • Guest (sugarskull09)

    Did you hear about the German family the Obama Admin is now trying to deport for home schooling?

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